Yes, K.K called me out. No, I did not have the decency to be embarrassed about it.
She did it in private, in public, any which way she could. But turns out, when your’re down and out, you’re down and out. Plus, it’s been an improv heavy fall. Shows upon shows. Stage. People. Scenes. There is only so much creative energy one has. Right? Right?
What I am incredible embarrassed, frustrated, pissed off about is the fact that I feel as though I have looking at myself as a seven year old. Maybe a five year old. Possible even an obstinate two year old. I have images of me standing over myself, finger pointed, saying, “Write!” and the other me keeps saying “No!”
That is, until a great little piece of news landed in my lap. Moon City review nominated my story for the Pushcart. I mean, yay! In the grand scheme of things, yes, it’s just a nomination. A million have it. Blah blah. Except, this one story, “A video store called Desire,” I worked on. I mean worked.
This is one of those stories that in one way or another I have been writing for years. And it wasn’t until I hit upon the right form, the right structure, that it started to make sense and then everything came together in a rush. I have to credit the workshop I took with Nancy Zafris at Kenyon Writer’s Workshop where she made us write a short story with a very limited structure. And isn’t it funny how the simplest, seemingly unrelated things spark the most relevant, NECESSARY, ideas?
This story also happens to be the mother (The story is about a mother and daughter…hee hee, get it? ) of the short story collection idea that I am, well, mildly working on.
All in all, I am clearing up the backlog and gathering my saddle and reins and getting back on the horse, so to speak.